Radical Faith

Last night the Lord called me to have radical faith. He told me something was going to be ok, even WAS ok, and I didn't believe Him. All those stiff-necked, hard-hearted, blind, deaf, dumb predicates in the Old Testament? Yeah, that was me last night.

I wish I would have trusted God more. I wish I wouldn't have rebelled against the still, small voice that said, "Everything's going to be OK." I wish I would have listened to the words of Him who loves me and knows all, instead of connecting the dots in my own finitude and stupidity. I wish I would have placed my heart in His hands, and not let my own fears and insecurities snatch it away and play rugby with it.

But most of all I wish I would have realized this: Faith is not just resting in written promises, generally trusting in the goodness of God that He will work all things out for Good (though such things are of course true). It's more than just verses and eschatalogical hope. Sometimes faith is listening and believing God when you're staring at a blue wall and He's telling you it's red (believe me, He's always right). Sometimes it's forsaking all of our faculties and just trusting, giving up our rights of assessment and reaction and placing all of our attitudes, actions, reactions, thoughts, and feelings at His feet. It's being willing to say, "Lord, everything I know is telling me A, but You're telling me B and I trust you above everything else, so B it is." Sometimes faith flies in the face of all, and runs roughshod over it. But God's truth and faith in it always wins, even when it looks like the sorriest underdog there is.

Sometimes faith is just a general trust, a general hope, a gentle thing. But sometimes it's much more than that - it's radical, transcendent, and demands belief at the cost of disbelieving all else.